


A promise

by widowsally



Category: Shadowhunters, The Mortal Instruments
Genre: 3x18 malec, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe - Shadow World Setting (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Angst, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Sad Alec, alec remembers moments with magnus, asmodeus has to die, follow my instagram i edit not write, i love pain, post 3x7 malec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-11 18:11:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18429416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/widowsally/pseuds/widowsally
Summary: And maybe in a hundred years, someone will still remember that Alexander Lightwood loved one man so much he sacrificed his world for him. At the end of the day, all he has ever wanted was for Magnus to be happy...Just another fanfic based on 3x18 promo where Alec has to break up with Magnus. Love rune. Magnus and Maryse meeting.Book references+ I get to love you by Ruelle references.





	1. Chapter 1

As soon as the words have left Asmodeus’s mouth Alec Lightwood felt sick to his stomach.

He tried out a thought...

 _To give him up._  
_To break his heart._  
_To betray their love._

No, this couldn’t possibly have solved anything.

For Alec...

But for Magnus, he thought, it could be a new beginning. Happiness he has long given up on, the return of his very soul, his salvation. Alec remembered the previous night, all the tears and heartaches that it brought to the both of them, the stinging realization that perhaps Alec would never be able to heal that wound in his lover's heart, no matter how much he tried. How could he? He was just a temporary person in the life of the one who has outlived millions. He was just one of the many, and he has already accepted it for himself a long time ago... he would have accepted anything to stay with the love of his life. To watch him be happy and to make him happy every step of the way for as long as their journey will allow them. They only got the time they got together and Alec knew that this is what made them not so different from the mortals. He learnt to understand that Magnus will not mourn forever. But he knew in his heart that at least Magnus will always love him... and that was more than enough.  
He would do anything, go any lengths and climb any hights to see his love smile again. Even if it was from afar...

At the end of the day, all he has ever wanted was for Magnus to be happy...

He couldn’t be selfish now. No. Not again. Not ever.  
To keep Magnus to himself and watch him suffer and be miserable knowing that he could have helped him but was too weak?  
No.  
He promised himself he would try to be better. He vowed he’d do anything to prove himself worthy of Magnus’s love. He couldn’t be selfish again... not after sending his love to the actual hell and being the very cause of his unhappiness now. It was all his fault. Alec knew that. He knew that Magnus Bane would’ve still been the High Warlock of Brooklyn if it wasn’t for a certain Alexander Lightwood.

And this is where he finally gets to pay.

“Deal.” Slipped through his mouth the moment the thought brought him to the study in Magnus’s loft, the heat from the magic fire caused by his lover's hand, the tender feeling of cold metal from the ringed fingers hugging his neck.  
——  
_“Why wouldn’t I? Look what I have waiting for me...”_  
——

This is where he pays. This is how it all ends. His happiness has lasted a little too long for someone who shouldn’t have gotten any at all. He knew the moment he met Magnus, the moment he first felt the tender brush of his lips on his own, the moment he heard the words he would never have thought anyone would ever tell him- that it was all just too good to be true. It was all too much for him. He never deserved it and he was foolish to assume he ever could. Magnus Bane deserved the eternal happiness, and if Alec’s love for him wasn’t enough, he’d sell his very soul to the devil himself just to bring his boyfriend a piece of himself back. Try to make up for all the pain he caused.

“Anything you want.” Shadowhunter adds, and he means it. His face stays still, silent, unreadable. He wouldn’t give this monster a chance to gloat.

“Excellent.” The devil adds with a smile.

————

When Alec finally makes it back to the Institute after what felt like a whole day of wandering through the streets of New York, trying to figure out what to say, how to act, it was already dinner time. Everyone, including Magnus, would be in the cafeteria right now.  
Where should he do it? How? Oh, _by the Angel_ , so many “hows”...  
How was he supposed to tell the love of his life that they cannot ever see each other again? How was he supposed to keep a straight face in front of him, make the man hate him, be cruel? How would he ever heal from a wound this deep? How could he learn to breathe again after stepping on his own heart and breaking it into a million tiny pieces...  
——  
_“It made me realize how much he means to me... that I can’t **live** without **him**...”_  
——  
Shadowhunter made his way over to his office. There was only one thing on his mind he wanted to do before facing the inevitable conversation.  
He remembered the moment Magnus’s heart has stopped beating on this very floor. He remembered the terror so horrible and utterly cold he didn’t know how to breathe.  
——  
_“Magnus... please I’m right here!”_  
——  
It was like his ground was ripped away from underneath his feet, and the world has gone gray and useless. Until he heard Magnus’s breathing again.

 _This is my fault._ He realized back then. _This is all my fault._

Alec reached for the drawer in his table and took a silver box from inside of it and placed it in his pocket.  
There would never be anyone else he might want to give this ring to. Might as well just give it to Magnus now to remember him by.  
Although Alec thought and it terrified him, Magnus might not want to remember him at all after tonight.  
Maybe it would be easier for him to forget.  
——  
_“What scares you?”_  
_“A key to having no fears... is having nothing to lose...”_  
——  
Alec had a lot to lose. And he was about to lose the best thing that has ever happened to him. But he knew that’s what he deserved. That’s the only way the most important person in his life could have a chance to be happy again. And he’d give up anything for that chance. Even his heart itself.

When the chattering and laughter from the Institute’s halls have grown silent and Alec knew everyone went back to work, he finally stepped out of his office and started walking towards his room. Magnus was supposed to meet Maryse earlier today, but even if the conversation was beyond pleasant, which Alec suspected it was given this new friendship he never would have thought he would face between his mother and his boyfriend, Alec knew Magnus wasn’t the one to overstay his welcome, so he should be in their room by now, resting or looking for the apartments or else...

 _Apartment..._  
_They were supposed to move in together._  
_They were supposed to get married._

Alec pushed the thought away.

_Don't make it harder than it already is._

He reached for the doorknob and the moment he stepped through he recognized the familiar scents of sandalwood and knew his boyfriend was, indeed, in the room even before he saw him. He would recognize that scent anywhere.

“Alexander!” The warlock called out with enthusiasm so helplessly sincere Alec’s heart skipped a beat.

What followed was a long and just as enthusiastic speech about the return of his powers, the sensation of magic flowing through his veins again, and Alec couldn’t help but think that maybe his heartache didn't matter to him anymore. Maybe the terror of losing the love of his life was, in the end, overpowered by this dazzling smile, and maybe the only thing that mattered what that Magnus Bane can finally be free again.

He listened intently but didn’t say a word. Alec never knew how to act or pretend around Magnus, he was always painfully straightforward and honest about anything he possibly wanted to say to him. Now was one of those times.

“Give me your hand,” Alec said as soon as Magnus was done talking.  
He couldn’t have pretended to be surprised or shocked by the return of Magnus’s magic, he just didn’t know how.

“What?” Magnus asked arching a confused brow at the Shadowhunter.

Alec didn’t bother to reply and took his lover's hand into his own and placed a stele inside.  
He didn’t think of it beforehand, but it occurred to him clear as day now, that if this was the last time Alec sees his boyfriend smile at him, he would want to remember what this warmth and light feels like inside his heart.

What love feels like.

“Think about me.” He said gazing deep into his warlock’s eyes, trying to memorize every detail of his face, the curve of his lips, the depths of his pupils, the strength and wisdom radiating like sunshine from all his features...

_Love._

“Remember our first trip to Italy? The little cafe in Venice and those stubborn pigeons that ate all of our ice creams? You swore you would never eat gelato again” Alec said with a profound smile trying to hold back the tears that were already stinging his eyes. He unbuttoned his shirt just enough to reveal an empty unmarked skin right under his colar bone, a little over his heart. He tightened a grip over Magnus’s hand with a stele and started tracing it along his own skin in the shape of a rune.

“Or the first time you showed me your home country and tried to get me to learn Indonesian?”  
Their intertwined hands kept moving along Alec’s chest and Magnus started to realize what was happening.  
A shadow of a smile hit the corner of his lips as the confused expression started to fade away.

_A promise._

He knew enough about Shadowhunters to know what that promise meant.

“You are as horrible with languages as you are with choreography” Magnus smiled.

Alec was trying to memorize this smile, put this light and happiness and everything of love that he has known into this simple mark, this promise that will never fade away.  
He wants to capture the way Magnus’s eyes spark when he looks at him, the steady rhythm of his breathing, the softness of his skin on his own through this rune, his very existence, a piece of his soul that will never leave Alec.

And Magnus graciously offered just that.  
He tried to think of every single happy moment with Alec at once, and the Angel knows there are way too many. This man who has given him love again, even after he has long given up on it. This man, who taught him to be brave and straightforward, and honest, and unconditionally loyal and kind towards the ones he loved. This man, who has given him a gift of faith and a newly found love... When he was with Alexander he felt happiness and glory so profound Magnus never would have thought something like this would ever come his way, to him, and from a Shadowhunter of all people. Being by his side felt like standing in the sun, and he blamed himself, not for the first time this day, for the events of the previous night, and how cruel he was towards the one person that meant the world to him. He said things he never meant and with anger and rage so vicious Alexander didn’t deserve to ever hear from anyone, especially not from him. Would it be anyone else who spoke to his Alec this way he’d have made them pay faithfully for the look of crushed dreams and utter saddens Magnus never would have wanted to see on the face he loved the most.  
But he has no one else to blame but himself...

The rune was already halfway done, and Magnus stopped the thought before he got to trace it into Alec’s skin. This was not the time.

“I dreamt of you, you know.” He said instead, pushing the other thought forward, much more pleasant and beautiful, the one he’d wanted to share with Alec for a while.  
“When I fainted in your office and my heart stopped... I dreamt of you.” He savored the expression of confusion and love in Alec’s eyes, capturing the sparks it rose in his chest into Alec’s skin. “I don’t know if it was what they call heaven, but if it was, I would no longer be afraid... knowing you would be there with me.”

Alec tried so hard this whole time not to lose his guise, not to let Magnus see this weak and helpless side of him, but at those words, his guard has dropped. The tears that stung behind his eyelids before were now fully running down his cheeks, and there was nothing he could have possibly thought of at that moment to let it all just stop. To make the pain stop.  
Magnus lifted his free hand forward and cupped Alec’s cheek, tracing the thumb down his cheekbone and wiping his lover's tears with it.  
This was all too much for Alec. The sensation of the touch he craved never to stop, and the crushing realization of what must follow. There was no getting out of this. Not this time.  
Alec closed his eyes and traced the final line of the love rune to his skin before dropping his hand and burying his face in Magnus’s neck. He didn’t even feel the usual sting newly carved runes always gave him. The inner pain has overgrown everything else, even his ability to think. He held on to Magnus so tight he didn’t think he would ever be able to let go.  
And at that moment he knew the rune has worked because he felt the sudden lightness in his chest as if somebody has partially lifted the burden crushing his heart. Magnus will always be there with him. Forever stay a part of him no matter what. This should be enough to keep Alec going. Trying to make something out of his life until he can be with his love again. Until he goes to that place Magnus has told him about, and they can finally be happy. Together. Free at last.

Perhaps this was the only thing on Earth that was able to make Alec let go of Magnus this time. Nothing else would have.

“Alexander?” Magnus called out with a sudden concern in his voice. Whatever he thought was happening before, Alec knew, Magnus slowly started to realize was far more complicated.

“What’s happening?” He asked tilting his head, trying to make Alec look at him. But Alec couldn’t. He couldn’t look him in the eyes and lie. He didn’t deserve that.

“I’m happy you got your magic back.” He was able to spill out in between catching his breath.

“You don’t look happy...” Magnus said hesitantly.

Alec has found strength in himself to face Magnus’s gaze. He knew he had to say it to his face. There was no lying, no pretending. These were his last words and he wanted Magnus to feel the whole weight of them. He had to know how much Alec means it... with all his heart.

“I love you, Magnus. More than anything.” He gasped. “You have to know that.”

“I know, I love you too...” Magnus felt like he didn’t like where this was going. “Is something wrong?”

Alec tried so hard to find the right words, to come up with an excuse, with a reason. But there was no possible reason in the world that would make him break up with the love of his life. Except for one.

“Magnus I... I didn’t lie yesterday when I said all I ever wanted is for you to be happy...” he started.  
“I know, about that- Alexander I’m so sorry! You don’t know how horrible I’ve felt all day knowing how badly I hurt you yesterday. I said things I shouldn’t have, and I’m so sorry!”  
Alec saw he meant it. He couldn’t even think about being mad at Magnus at the time, all he cared about was helping his boyfriend through what felt like the worst day of his life... being there for him, holding him close.

“Magnus your magic... I know how much it means to you. I know that now that you have it, you can be happy again...” he tried to speak the truth, he couldn’t face lying to Magnus, pretending he didn’t love him anymore, being cruel- he didn’t know how. Even though he knew it’d be easier for Magnus to hate him, he couldn’t say these words and he knew he never could.

“Alexander I didn’t mean that you don’t make me happy, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I love you!”  
Magnus tried to defend himself, tried to make Alec see. He didn’t want that stupid argument to affect his boyfriend so much he was now standing in front of him holding back the tears, and clearly so much more than that.

“I know, it’s not about that... but it is still too much.” Alec bowed his head again frowning, trying to steady his heartbeat.

“Too much ... what?” Magnus felt shivers down his spine at the realization of where Alec was going with this.

“Your magic, your immortality, it should be enough for you to find yourself again. To have a future, to be happy.” Alec continued. “But I don’t see myself in that future anymore.” And as he said it he realized it wasn’t all a lie. With Magnus being immortal, he always knew there’d come a day where Alec wouldn’t be a part of Magnus’s life anymore, where Alec wouldn’t _be_ at all...  
Maybe it was true what his parents said about him, Alec was a natural born diplomat. Master of half-truth.

“I...” Magnus looked like Alec has hit him “Alexander what are you saying?” He felt the stinging behind his eyes and what felt like a tight grip holding his heart making it harder and harder to breathe.

“We can’t see each other anymore,” Alec uttered.  
And with these words, the room that had seen so much fondness and happiness between the two men in love felt silent.

Magnus’s face fell. In all 400 years he’s walked this Earth and lived and loved and got hurt, he couldn’t remember going through something as painful as the realization of Alec’s words hung in the air. Alec was breaking up with him. Alexander didn’t want to be with him anymore. Magnus couldn’t breathe.

The silence was overwhelming.  
He needed to say something before it was too late. He could see on Alec’s expression he didn’t want anything else other than to run far away from the world at this very second.

“You don’t mean that...” was everything he could’ve thought to say. He couldn’t believe that Alec, the man who’s just literally carved a part of Magnus onto his skin, was leaving him. It all feels like a horrible dream and Magnus never wanted to wake up more.

“I’m sorry, Magnus. I love you and I always will.” Alec caught his breath. “But this is the way it has to be...”.

Magnus thought of last night, and of so many nights before that he has hurt Alec, that he lost control...  
He couldn’t believe Alec wanted him in the first place... he remembers the stunned feeling in his own chest when Alec first told him he loved him. How was that possible that an angel like Alexander Gideon Lightwood could have possibly loved a demon-blooded monster like him... How was it possible that seeing his demon mark for the first time didn’t scare him off, but rather made his eyes sparkle with fondness... How was it possible that after everything Magnus has put him through due to his damned temper and darkness that lived within Alec would still want him and stay by his side...  
He knew where Alec was coming from, he knew far too well. And the worst part is that he couldn’t blame him.

“Alec I’m so sorry... for last night and for everything... I know I’m not perfect, far from it, but I’ll try to be better! I will control myself I won’t ever lash out on you again like that I’m so sorry!” Magnus uttered. He couldn’t just let him leave, he couldn’t. “Please just...just give me another chance...” he whispered holding his hand over Alec’s heart, a stele still tight in between his fingers.

Alec couldn’t stand hearing his angel be this miserable anymore. He couldn’t believe Magnus blamed himself this much, it was Alec who was responsible for everything that went wrong. And only Alec should’ve bared the burden of that price.

But the deal was a deal.  
_Break his heart to save his life._

This was the way it had to go.

Alec tilted his head and cupped Magnus’s neck pulling him close. Magnus dropped the stele from his hand and took a hold of Alec’s waist, letting the other hand slide up and on to Alec’s cheek as he kissed him. Hard, and sincere, and with everything he had. That was the only way Alec knew how to be. This was a kiss full of desperation, and desire, and love, and grief, and fear of letting go. This was the last time Alec could show his love to the man who meant the world to him. And maybe through that kiss, he would make Magnus see himself the way Alec has always seen him- the beauty of his features Alec had never grown bored of reminding him about, the strength of his stature, and the kindness of his heart.

——  
_“I fell in love with you because you’re wise, and you’re generous. You’re brave and you-you’re incredible!”_  
_“They’re beautiful, you’re beautiful.”_  
_“You’re beautiful the way you are.”_  
_“There’s nothing ugly about you.”_  
——

When Magnus felt Alec drawing back he realized he was crying. Or perhaps Alec was crying. The reality was probably both, and the mixture of their tears was now covering both of their faces.

“I got to love you. And it was the best thing I have ever done. I got to see you smile, and laugh, and it was the most beautiful music to my ears. I made you a promise...” Alec took Magnus’s hands in his and placed them over the newly carved love rune above his heart.  
He looked Magnus in the eyes taking a moment to memorize him, every single detail, before letting go. “Now you make a promise to me...” he let go of Magnus’s hands and slid one into his pocket, reaching for the silver ring inside.  
He placed it into Magnus’s hand before warlock could even realize what it was and closed it in his fist.  
“Promise me you won’t forget me.”  
He couldn’t bear the thought of that. Even though they didn’t get the chance for a happy ending in this lifetime, Alec believed in his heart there was another place and another chance for them to be happy. Alec hoped fiercely that there was a universe where he’d get to slide this ring on his finger and make a much greater promise to the love of his life in front of everyone they knew. A place where he would get to vow never to leave his side, and where they’d share their happiness with each other every step of the way for as long as they both shall live.

But that vow would have to wait another life.

“I promise,” Magnus said simply, letting the last tears slide down his cheekbones. There was no pain in his chest anymore. No grief, no desperation, no sorrow. He just felt dead inside.

“You are the light of my life, Magnus. Only you, _always_ you. Never forget that. And forgive me, if you can.” Alec said holding on to Magnus’s hands. He let out a last sob and kissed Magnus’s knuckles on the hand that was still holding the Lightwood ring inside. Alec prayed he wouldn’t throw it away. Although he wouldn’t blame him if he would.  
And maybe in a hundred years, someone will still remember that Alexander Lightwood loved one man so much he sacrificed his world for him.

Maybe in another world, he didn’t have to let go.  
But this wasn’t another world.

Walking away from Magnus was the hardest thing Alec has ever had to do in his life. Reaching to wipe out his own tears he took another step towards the door before turning around for the last time to look at his love.

“Aku Cinta Kamu.” Alec said with a shadow of a sad smile in the corner of his mouth.

Magnus opened his hand as soon as the door closed behind Alec and it was as if the world has stopped spinning at the stinging realization of what the object in front of him has meant.

_“I love you too, Alexander.”_

_And when that love comes back to you, you must do **everything** in your **power** to_  
_**fight** for it._

 

***


	2. The Beast Within

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus Bane has wandered the grounds of Earth long enough to find love, obtain power, let his heart be broken, find happiness, make love, be free, be honest, and beyond that explore every corner of himself, find strength and bravery even in the hardest times, learn to control his mind and spirits unlike any mortal human being ever could... all due to the power of time and magic on his side. He has seen everything in the world one would ever hope for, been to all places, tried all things. He has seen the devil, seen hell, endured it, nurtured it even... 
> 
>  
> 
> But he has only found heaven in a man. 
> 
> or  
> how far is Magnus willing to go to run away from his pain...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, you were somehow able to trick me into writing another chapter... sorry for the angst but that's just how Malec make me feel right now

_400 years..._

_17 000 memories..._

_1 soulmate._

 

Magnus Bane has wandered the grounds of Earth long enough to find love, obtain power, let his heart be broken, find happiness, make love, be free, be honest, and beyond that explore every corner of himself, find strength and bravery even in the hardest times, learn to control his mind and spirits unlike any mortal human being ever could... all due to the power of time and magic on his side. He has seen everything in the world one would ever hope for, been to all places, tried all things. He has seen the devil, seen hell, endured it, nurtured it even...

 

But he has only found heaven in a man.

 

Oh, what a sensational feeling it was for someone this old to experience this spark in his chest again... and how surprised was Magnus to see how that spark has grown into a fire his heart has never felt before.

Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

The name itself somehow was able to make Magnus’s heart shatter in his chest, with all the meaning and weight it obtained. It rose a feeling in his heart Magnus has long forgotten about, and before he knew it he was gone... lost in this newly found love, and lost in hope.

Hope that maybe there was still a reason for Magnus to be here. That this life has something else to offer to him, something to give, and something to take. That there was still a chance for him to be useful... a chance to feel alive again.

And Alexander offered him just that.

He loved, and he was loved back, and he was happy, happier than he could ever recall himself being, and honest to himself and to the world. And in their happiness Magnus found himself empowered by forces so pure and unlimited he felt like he could do anything, be anyone, change the world, save himself...

He finally had something to live for, to look forward to, to cherish and nurture and love and find peace with. Watching Alec standing by his side like he was always there, like that’s where he belonged, like he would never go anywhere from here- it felt so utterly and absolutely right. It felt natural, and it bashed Magnus with its total simplicity and purity. Something he never thought he’d get to experience again.

 

_A purpose, a sense of belonging._

 

He has only ever felt this feeling once before. So hard as he tried to hide it for hundreds and hundreds of years, even in the secrecy of his own mind, there was always this side of him that has longed to be someplace else. That yearned to reunite with its roots, its creators. So far as he’s come masking it- there would always be some unspoken thing to Magnus’s inner self. The one that belonged in Edom.

 

But he banned himself from ever comparing the happiness he found in Alexander’s arms to the half-sense of belonging his demon part self felt while being held in hell by his father. Even the word itself has felt weird to his ears now... _father_. It sent shivers down his spine and made his whole body cringe with nerves and unspoken fears. It wasn’t what a normal person would think about when hearing this word. But then again... nothing about Magnus Bane has ever been even slightly close to normal.

It would be like comparing heaven with hell, and Magnus chose to stay ignorant to the fact that he has always known where his true place was. Some things weren’t meant for people like him. He has always known where did he belong.

 

Sitting on the cold marble floor leaning on the bathroom wall in Queens right now Magnus thought that perhaps lying was easier. Lying to himself that he could have that happiness, be that person he has always found himself being around Alexander. Believe, or at least, trying to believe that perhaps there was something else for him in this world other than the darkness that followed him every step of the way, wherever he went, no matter how fast he ran... because he could never outrun _himself_. Believe that there might actually be something pure and helplessly sincere planned for him, something as beautiful and breathtaking as love.

He felt stupid and naïve now that he thought about it... to believe that he could have that... he must have lost his mind.

When Magnus found himself stumbling on his own feet trying to get out of the Institute as quickly as he could, to get away from that place and get away from Alec, for good, it has been about an hour since Alec has left him in his room, paralyzed and lost in his own grief. He felt all his limbs fall numb, and all he could do is stay there in silence letting the tears fall on the open hand that was still holding a silver ring inside. Until he felt an urge to run.

He didn’t even bother collecting his stuff from Alec’s room, he didn’t care. None of this mattered anymore.

As soon as he went through the entrance door and felt the cold breeze of the autumn night blowing in his face he found rather awakening he remembered the very reason he didn’t have to run anymore. So he launched himself into an instantly made portal, produced out of the thin air as easily as the flick of the wrist, aiming for the one place in the world he could have possibly thought of where someone might still need him in. Only one person he could have thought of on what felt like the worst day of his very long life.

 

So he was now burying his face in his knees the next morning sitting on the bathroom floor in a bright and spacious apartment in Queens, the walls of which felt welcoming and caring whenever Magnus found himself coming here seeking for comfort.

Lost in his thoughts and sorrow Magnus didn’t even hear a soft knock on the door until it was followed by a woman’s voice.

 

“If you’re planning on cutting your wrists in there you better find another bathtub, I’ve just cleaned the whole place like yesterday,” it said. Catarina Loss was never the cheesy kind, and Magnus didn’t expect a less kinky remark from her even on a day like this. Somehow he found himself slightly grinning. It was a sad smirk but he was grateful to his friend for it, nonetheless. She knew him better than anyone.

 

Magnus got up and faced himself in the mirror. This was no way for him to look, even in his darkest hour. So he channeled an image of a look through his mind to his hands, collecting sparks from every cell of his body on the way, and endured the feeling the newly found magic has always given him when performing charms- it felt more like _him_ than any other doing in the world. He felt his hands heat up slightly before the blue and yellow flames of glitter and gold were traveling from his palms, surrounding his whole body and transforming it into whatever his heart desired today. When the glitter has fallen and he studied a new look he has just given himself in the mirror he couldn’t help but think how little it mattered to him, even with a sensational feeling of magic he missed so much being back, the tight grip on his lungs by an invisible hand was the feeling that overflown anything else at that moment. He still couldn’t find his breath.

There was no glitter on his face, no bright and daring colors in his hair and most importantly- no spark in his eyes Catarina has gotten so used to throughout the centuries as he walked through the door to face her. Even his current look he has, she was sure, just summoned to look at least halfway presentable in front of her, was lacking something so purely _Magnus’_ she couldn’t even find the right word to describe it. He almost looked like a mundane, a rather overdressed and good looking but a mundane nonetheless, and this was just as sober as Magnus got even on his worst day. And Catarina admired him for that.

 

“Finally! I thought I’d need to portal in inside and kick you out, but I was afraid to find you in a compromising situation,” she smiled. Trying to cheer Magnus up and keep his mind off the breakup topic was everything she’s been trying to do all night, knowing him far to well to try reassurance or pity instead.

 

“Save your strength for somebody who needs it today dear,” Magnus said petting his friend lightly on the shoulder while making his way to the kitchen counter.

 

“You need me. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.” She sounded confident but not cruel, no scent of humor in her voice this time.

 

Magnus rolled his eyes at the words slightly, not rudely but rather playfully, trying to shake off the tension he sensed was starting to grow in her voice. He didn’t want the talk to get serious again. The pain in his heart was too severe and he didn’t want to burden the only person that he could turn to on the day like that with it.

“Shouldn’t you be at the hospital already?” he tried to change the subject instead.

 

“I don’t think you’ve had the time or a wish to check the calendar this morning but it is Saturday, Mag,” she answered making her way towards the fridge on the other side of the studio kitchen, “and I don’t have shifts on Saturdays”. She opened the fridge door and dragged a pink can from the inside.

“Here, eat something,” sliding what looked like a week old yogurt towards him along the table.

 

Magnus studied her with the confused expression before giving a yogurt a glance of disgust.

“No thank you,” was the only thing he could find strength in himself saying, and dragged a bottle of brown liquid from the already half-way opened drawer.

 

“‘Jack’ is not gonna help you forget about last night, you know...” she started.

 

“Yeah but nothing will” he cut her off already pouring the liquid into a whiskey glass. “Besides, I’m immune to alcohol again so it’s not like I’m going to compromise your guest room’s couch or anything.”

 

“No, but it might compromise Madzie’s healthy image of her favorite uncle Magnus.”

He gave her a look and stopped his hand with a glass just as it was reaching his mouth ready to endure the bittersweet flavor that would relax his body and mind, even just for a brief moment.

Catarina cocked a brow at him.

“And she might be storming out here every moment now,” she added.

Madzie didn't wake up last night when Magnus has intruded a peacefulness of night in the apartment’s living room with his portal. Or at least she pretended not to, giving the two adults the comfort of solitude to discuss whatever it was so urgent that Magnus had a need to invade himself into their house at that hour. She was a really clever girl for her age.

 

And Catarina knew she’s hit the right spot. Magnus loved her, and he wouldn’t want to cause either of them any discomfort with his presence she knew that much. Magnus placed the glass down and stood up from the high chair in a glimpse of an eye, revealing the irritation on his face he tried so hard to hide for the past few hours.

He was mad, angry, sad, crushed, furious...but not at Catarina, no. He was angry with himself. Not only for letting his heart be so violently and miserably broken but also for, he knew far too well, letting down everyone around him that he had ever found himself caring about. He was angry with himself because the guilt has been eating him alive, and he never wanted anything more than to just stop feeling for at least a brief moment... lift that weight from his shoulders that didn’t allow him to breathe. He was furious with blame and hatred for himself that was written all over his face, and he didn’t know how to hide it any longer.

 

“If you’re trying to guilt trip me than it’s working,” he said observing the city from the heights of Catarina’s loft through the crystal clear window, hiding his face he knew well enough she’d be able to read in a split second.

“No, I’m just trying to get you to talk to me.” She said as kindly as she could making a step closer and reaching to touch his shoulder.

 

“I told you everything already- Alec broke up with me, I got my magic back, end of story.” He tried to make his voice steady despite the limb in his throat that was making it so hard to talk at all.

And Catarina heard it.

“Is this actually everything you want to tell me? Raw facts no details, no explanation? You gotta give me something Magnus, there’s got to be a reason for everything that happened yesterday.”

He gave her no answer to that. He knew what that reason was. And it was _him._

If Catarina couldn’t see it or pretended not to see it out of the kindness of her heart he didn’t want to give her a reason to hate him too. He didn’t want to explain why what has happened has been his fault and his fault alone.

He could only shake his head slightly making it clear that there wasn’t anything he could have said to that at the moment.

Catarina took a hint and lifted her hand from Magnus’s shoulder stepping aside, letting him savor a comfort of personal space for a while. She started pacing the floor around the studio kitchen room.

“You can't keep torturing yourself, Magnus. There has got to be a reason, and you cannot tell me it all happened out of the blue, just like that,” she started. “Two inexplicable, out-of-this-world weird events happen on the same day and you tell me that’s a coincidence?” she snapped at him.

He turned around to face her opening his mouth slightly at the revelation she was suggesting.

“Tell me it doesn’t smell funky to you.”

The question got hung in the air making Magnus’s brows furrowed in thought.

 

No, he couldn’t bring himself to hope, not again, not with everything he was going through right now.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Cat.”

“Than don’t be a fool, Magnus! Your father, _a prince of Hell_ and the greatest asshole in this realm shows mercy on you on the same day that Alec Lightwood decides to break up with you?!” She didn’t sound angry, just confused, and really _really_ determined to persuade him and made the warlock see. “And all that right before he gave you that stupid ring you’re all but having sex with for the past day?” Magnus looked at his hand and then at Cat again.

He didn’t know what to do with the jewelry since Alec has given it to him before leaving, so he has been trying to wear it on different fingers, kept it in his pocket, even wore it on one of the chains on his neck, until he finally found a perfect spot for it on the middle finger of his right hand, right between the M and B rings he wore on that same hand.

 

_“M.L.B.” was what it spelled now._

_Magnus Lightwood-Bane._

 

Maybe in another world, he would have gotten to wear that name one day.

 

“You’re being tricked, Magnus,” she said in a more steady voice. “This is the Lightwood family ring, _the ring_ , Magnus” she paused. “Fool yourself as long as you want but he ain't gotta fool me. I’m going to the Institute on call, and I **am** going to talk to your fiancé while I’m there be sure of that.”

“He was not...” Magnus’s voice broke, “don’t say that word please...” he begged feeling in full force the stinging in his chest now.

Catarina took a cautious step closer trying to find Magnus’s eyes.

“That ring means exactly what I say it means, Magnus. You haven’t seen the look on his face when he thought you were going to die. That kind of love it... it doesn’t go away in a day. And I will be damned if I let the two of you fall for Asmodeus’s mind games.”

There was a small pause after her words.

“What if you’re wrong?” Magnus whispered head bowed to the ground.

“Well if I’m wrong then... what do you have to lose?” And just like that, she was gone. Turned around and stormed out of the kitchen taking a door that led to Madzie’s room.

She would wake her up and bring her to the babysitter, Magnus thought. And then she’d go to the Institute to help out the Shadowhunters, whatever they’ve gotten themselves into this time. And there she would see Alec.

 

_My Alec._

***

The Saturday morning at the Institute was no different from any other morning of the week. Unlike doctors or other mundane professions, Shadowhunters only deserved a certain number of days off in a month, that were separated equally between all of them by the head of the Institute.

In the New York Institute it was Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

 

He was sitting in his chair before the table observing the schedule and making a monthly report to give back to the Clave. And _by the Angel,_ how he pledged he wasn’t already out of these free days for this month himself, just to be anywhere but here, just to do anything but that. But with everything that has been going on in his life lately, he was not only out of them all for this month, but for the next one as well...

Getting over his injury after the owl attack, a free day for him and Magnus to spend training (didn’t work out the way it was originally planned, but it's not like Alec would have to report that as well), spending the day by Magnus’s side after his incident with Lorenzo’s magic...

 

_Magnus._

Every thought has been of him, and every breath Alec took was somehow even more painful than the previous...

 

_Where was Magnus?_

 

When Alec returned to his room yesterday after long hours of crying at his office and pouring his heart out to Isabelle, Magnus was already gone. Alec thought he would at least grab his things on the way, Alec wanted him to be furious at him, he even half-expected to find the ring sitting somewhere Alec would see Magnus has left it, but no... In fact, the ring was the only thing Magnus had actually taken before he left.

Alec thought that now with his magic back he’d have gone to find himself a temporary place to live in, for Alec knew that he wouldn’t go to his old loft and kick out Lorenzo right away, not after everything that happened that night. And he found himself feeling guilty again for wanting to know he was right and Magnus really _has_ been too upset for it.

Wherever he was right now Alec knew it wasn’t any of his business anymore, his mind told him. _These papers in front of you are, however_.

His heart begged to disagree.

 

Anything even slightly Magnus related has always been Alec’s business, and it would have to stay like that for as long as Alec shall live, for there was nothing in the whole world entirely that mattered to him more.

Alec forced himself to keep his mind focused on the schedule that was due _yesterday_ to hand over to the Clave. Perhaps it was for the best that Alec was not able to have a day off today. At least he could keep his mind busy instead of falling apart behind the closed doors all day.

A knock on the door suggested an intruder to Alec’s working solitude and dragging him out of the thoughts he was so grateful to temporarily get rid of.

 

“Can I come in?” his sister asked stepping hesitantly into Alec’s office.

He put the pen down with trembling fingers for that the only sight of her reminded him of the devastating night she’s helped him through earlier, and gestured to the chair in front.

“I called in Catarina for today’s mission. We are using heavenly fire for the first time and we don’t know how it’s gonna affect Clary and Jonathan, so if anything goes wrong we might use her healing powers,” she paused “Hope we won’t have to.”

 

Alec was still looking at her, the usual blank unreadable expression now on his face. She raised a brow at him.

“Just thought I’d let you know.” She said almost apologetically.

“Thank you for letting me know _after_ you did it.” He face was emotionless.

“Do you have a problem with it?” She asked in confusion.

“What I _do_ have a problem with is how hard you people must find consulting with me _before_ you make any important decisions the Clave would have to pay or I will be punished for.” He stated.

There was a pause between them that Isabelle used to lick her dry lips before speaking.

“If you referring to the Lilith accident, we’ve been through it already, Alec. That’s all it was, an accident, we couldn’t have possibly predicted...”

“What you _could_ have done is not go behind my back while I was busy making sure my boyfriend wouldn’t die!” he cut her off and immediately stumbled upon the word that cracked his voice.

“Ex-boyfriend...” he added pressing his teeth together tightly and making his jaw flick.

“See... ugh,” she exhaled, “If you’re trying to get your mind of it so bad don’t go off attacking people who care about you, Alec. We both know what this is really about. Don’t channel your anger onto me right now I don’t deserve it.” She said it in a statement and there was no room for arguing about it. Alec knew she was right.

It was Izzy that held him tight for hours listening to the sobbed confessions her brother had to share with somebody. It was Isabelle who told him how strong he was to make this kind of decision and who reassured him how proud she was of him. Isabelle told him there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do to make Asmodeus pay for everything he’s done to him and Magnus. And for a split moment, Alec had allowed himself to hope.

Alec covered his face behind his palm squishing tired red eyes from a sleepless night that only a stamina rune could have hidden from the world right now.

“ _By the Angel_ , Alec!” Izzy reclaimed, taking a step closer to his desk and reaching her hand forward. Alec realized she was aiming for his own hands when she was already holding them in hers, studying the crushed knuckles covered in dried out blood. The delicate skin between the fingers was also cut with what Izzy recognized as the arrowhead, and she gasped at the sight before letting go and drawing her hand to the side of her hip. She dragged a stele from the belt on her leg and reached forward to mark her brother with an iratze when Alec drew back.

 

“It’s okay, Iz” he turned his head hiding away from her judging gaze.

 

“No, it’s obviously not!” She snapped. “You promised me you wouldn’t do it, Alec, you promised wouldn’t do it again.” And at that moment Alec has heard her voice tremble. He realized it wasn’t a judgmental look she was giving him, it was a look full of worry and fear, and something else Alec couldn’t quite comprehend.

“I-..” he started, only to realize there was nothing to say. There wasn’t any reasonable explanation to keep his sister oblivious to the truth that she would believe in. She wasn’t naive, and it wasn’t the first time she’s seen Alec hurt himself driven by heartache and inner pain. Afterall- she was the only one who’s always known every truth about him, and the struggles and pain they brought.

 

Just as Isabelle has opened her mouth again ready to give Alec a talk to try and reason with him the ground underneath them started shaking, and the office was lit by the gleaming yellow light coming from the newly opened portal in front of the siblings. Before they could know it the trembling walls fell silent again and Catarina Loss went through the portal closing it as she made her way towards Alec’s desk.

“I’m sorry for intruding like this but I need to speak to Alec before we start any kind of a deal today.” She said eyes locked on Alec’s face.

 

“We’re not done with this conversation, Alec,” Isabelle said after a brief pause, making a way to Catarina to take her place right in front of Alec’s chair. She made it to the door noting Catarina on the way to meet her at the Ops center when they were done with Alec and was gone.

 

Alec gestured to Catarina to take a seat which she, unsurprisingly, ignored, focusing her gaze on the back of Alec’s hand as well and frowning.

 _I really need to use the glamour rune for this one_ , he thought.

 

“You wanted to talk to me? Why?” he asked.

“You know why,” Catarina answered leaning on the desk.

 

Alec’s eyes started to lose focus trying to figure out yet another lie he found himself so used to coming up with throughout his life.

And it was like she could read his thoughts.

“And don’t try to bullshit me, Alec, I’m not Magnus I’m not gonna fall for it the way he did. That man has some really serious self-esteem issues if you could’ve made him so easily believe you were breaking up with him cause you didn’t love him anymore.”

At that Alec has met her gaze.

“I never said that. That’s not why-“

“Then _why_ , Alec? And don’t give me one of those cheesy ‘we are are not meant for each other’ lines cause we both know that you are.”

Alec wished he could have disappeared right at that moment, Catarina’s gaze was too much for him to handle, the stamina rune started wearing off and he felt sick again, his eyes watering with tears from tiredness and pain. He didn’t want to pretend, couldn’t figure what to lie...

It was all just too much for him.

_All he wanted was to disappear._

“I knew it.” She said as if his silence was all the proof she needed. “Alec you’re crazy if you think what you did could have ever helped him!” She snapped.

“I did what I had to do, Catarina, you have to understand.” He bowed his head hiding out the torn eyes from her sight.

“The hell you didn’t! You made a deal with _the devil_ , Alec, you know that right? And those never turn out well, never!”

“ _Me he can forget_!” Alec has finally lost it. There was so much in him he needed to let out, so much he couldn’t even tell Izzy, nobody. Nobody would understand. But perhaps Catarina could.

“Me he can move on from! I’m not the first one to break his heart and you know that better than anyone!” That was true. Catarina was Magnus’s oldest friend, and even if he didn’t want to admit it sometimes, the one person who knew him even better than Alec did. She would understand. She has to.

“You’ve seen him love before, and you’ve seen him heartbroken before, probably even more times than days I’ve even been in his life. I’m just 1 person... but his magic it’s- “ he stumbled, “it means everything to him.”

Catarina was quiet.

“He told me there was a chance he could never be happy again. He told me he could _die_ for his magic.” The tears were now fully streaming down his face but this time Alec didn’t try anything to hide them.

“I couldn’t have lived with myself if...” he knew he didn’t have to finish that sentence. He could see in Catarina’s eyes that she understood. “I found a way to help him. And I would pay any price twice if it meant he would have a chance to be happy again.” It was the truth, and even though Alec knew it in his heart this whole time, and it was the very reason he did what he did- the truth hurt with even more severe bitterness when spoken out loud. “He is immoral. When the right amount of time passes- he’d move on. Like he always did...”

Saying that made Alec realize all the issues their relationship has ever held and burdened him with all at once. He loved Magnus more than life itself, but sometimes love just wasn't enough.

—

_“Magnus I thought maybe we’re too...”_

_“Different?”_

—

Catarina didn’t say a word.

 

***

 

Magnus woke up to the bright golden light blinding his eyelids. Golden hour. He must have slept all day.

He did finish that bottle of whiskey after Catarina and Madzie have left nonetheless, and perhaps that was what made his body and mind relax enough to make him finally rest, at least for a few hours, making up for the sleepless night.

 

He dreamt of Edom.

 

The peaceful solitude it brought, the way it made some parts of himself feel welcomed, feel in place.

Magnus pushed the dream away. For those were dangerous thoughts, and he couldn’t let himself turn into the dark.

 

What could he do then?

 

Go to his old apartment, kick out Lorenzo, earn his place as the high warlock again?

No, those days were gone.

He tried his hardest not to think of Alec, but the image of the kind hazel eyes smiling at him followed him with his every thought.

There wasn’t anything he could possibly do that wouldn’t be a constant reminder of the life he has had and lost.

Even if he did become the High Warlock of Brooklyn again- what’s next? What, he would just go back to partying and drinking occasionally helping some private clients and heading the warlocks of the city solving out all their issues? What if the Shadowhunters need him for something? What he would just go to the Institute, shake hands with Alec, and call him Mr. Lightwood?

He didn’t even want to think of that possibility.

But perhaps, he thought at once, he didn’t need to be the High Warlock of Brooklyn in particular. New York wasn’t the only city in the world...

 

Magnus tried out a thought. _To leave New York. To have a new beginning somewhere else..._ Was it actually what he wanted or were those just the thoughts driven by grief and a desire to run away?

Magnus didn’t know. Perhaps he needed to let himself have some time to think over it before making this kind of decision. But not for the first time since this morning Catarina’s words echoed in his head again.

 

_What do you have to lose?_

 

Just as he thought of it, he felt the portal magic coming up from the living room. It was like a vibe that warlocks could sense, a certain electricity wave he learned to recognize from the distance and distinguish between each other. He didn’t think Catarina would be home so early, but he was glad she was here. Maybe she’d have a word to say in his decision of changing location. Of course, she wouldn’t be happy about it at first, but she would understand that it would be best for him. He didn’t feel like he belonged here in New York. Not anymore.

Opening up a door to the living room he expected to find a gleaming yellow and gold portal in the air with Catarina coming in from another side. What he actually saw was something else entirely. The sight that sent cold shivers through his whole body, making him gasp for air.

The floor of the living room was covered in black blood, or something that looked like blood. The thick, viscous liquid black and stinky as the hell itself. Perhaps it was the hell...

Right in the middle of it all was a huge hole in the floor, opening up a gate to the very dimension Magnus has been dreaming about just a couple of minutes ago. Be afraid of what you wish for...

 

“My dear boy!”

Magnus heard him before he saw him. The dark black hair and the sparkly orange cat eyes so similar and so different from his own...

“Asmodeus.” Magnus hoped he would never get to say that word again, let alone see the bearer of the name in front of him now. Their previous encounter was far too painful and way too recent for Magnus to even try to pretend not to hate the sight of his father the moment he laid his eyes on the older man.

“Ouch, how formal,” the demon gave him a cocky eyebrow. “What, aren’t you glad to see me, son?”

“Still recovering from our last meeting thank you very much.”

Asmodeus just laughed at him.

“Well isn’t that any way to thank your father, my boy?” He grinned making a step closer to where Magnus stood.

“Thank... you? For what for taking away my magic, extracting a part of my soul?!”

“That was what you desired wasn’t it? We made a deal. And all I did was keep my part of a bargain” the demon said with a straight face. “Besides, I did give you your powers back didn’t I?”

Magnus held his breath. That’s why he was here. That’s why Magnus had his magic back. He wanted to tease him before asking for something in return.

“What do you want from me? Why are you here?” He asked. Magnus could sense there was something wrong all along, but he didn’t have time to give it any proper thought given that the love of his life has left him barely an hour after his powers’ return. For what Magnus knew- Asmodeus used his magic to earn himself a throne in hell, and now simply didn’t need it anymore. Although there had to be some kind of a trick to it. With a devil, there was always a trick.

“What makes you think I want something from you?” The demon grinned.

“Well, you wouldn’t give me my powers back just out if the kindness of your heart considering you don’t have one,” Magnus spoke through his teeth.

“Oh _my my_ , is that the red I see in your eyes? Surely you must be happy to get your soul, your life back are you not?” He mocked him.

“ _What do you want?_ ” Magnus had asked again, hoping to receive a reasonable answer this time and not become a tool in his father’s games.

Asmodeus took his time with an answer. He circled around the room taking a moment to look upon the city from Catarina’s apartment. Magnificent as it was surely the devil didn’t come on Earth on the only day he was free to do so just to enjoy the sight. Saturday. Catarina mentioned it today but Magnus didn’t get the chance to check the date not that he wanted to.

_Damn it._

_October 31st. Today was Halloween._

 

It was the first time Magnus has seen him here on Earth, however. Perhaps his new position in hell, if you could call it that, made it possible for him to get around his banishment, or he has always known a way to leave on this day but chose to stay away Magnus couldn’t tell. The fact is that now he was here, and he needed something from Magnus, of that much he was certain.

 

“I want you to finally see this world for what it is. Look upon them, my son. Here you see- these _people_ will never understand, this realm is too weak and unworthy of the great power you possess, my boy. I want you to see _yourself_ for what you really are- a legacy to the underworld.” He turned around to face him, his demon mark fully revealed in his eyes. “You are my greatest creation, and whether you choose to believe it or not but you _belong_ with me.” Magnus has finally started to realize what was this really about.

“Edom has changed. The new era has laid upon my realm and **_I_** am in the center of it. Oh, you should have _seen_ what I did with the place using the magic you gave me!” He exclaimed. “Together with could achieve great things, my son,” the demon said approaching Magnus in just a few long steps, vividly gesturing with his hands. “Together, we could become unstoppable.”

 

Magnus swallowed. He would have lied if he told him none of that was even slightly appealing to any part of him, that the sight of his demon father didn’t reveal even a shadow of curiosity of the worlds he could have shown him. It wasn’t the truth. There was darkness in Magnus, there has always been. He was half-demon for a reason.

He tried so hard, _for centuries_ , to make himself forget that, to live a life free of anger or fear, free of any emotions demonic in origin. For he knew those were the very emotions that brought that side of him closer and closer to the surface.

He found himself stunned by how oblivious he was to have let all those emotions overgrown everything else in him for the past day, to infect his very soul...

_Since Alec has walked away._

For over a day he has been mourning and fighting himself, grieving and suffocating, _hating_ himself for what he was that he could never ever change to matter how hard he tried. _This is why I’ve dreamt of Edom_ , he thought. _I brought this upon myself._

 

“I know you want to come with me, son. I know you do.” Asmodeus exhaled, taking hold of Magnus’s shoulders with both of his hands. “You never belonged in here, _nobody will ever love you in here_. Not the way I do.” And with those words, Magnus’s face fell.

 

Was there truly something holding him back in here? Was there any purpose for him, anywhere he could go, anywhere someone might still need him in?

 

Magnus shooked his head.

 

_These are not my thoughts. This isn’t me._

_I am Magnus Bane. I’m a downworlder and a former High Warlock of Brooklyn. I’m a best friend of Catarina Loss, a warlock like me whom I’ve known for centuries. I am a good friend of Clarissa Fairchild, a Shadowhunter whom I’ve seen grow up in front of my eyes._

Magnus tried to remember something that would make him hold on. The darkness was overpowering, the temptation was too severe... _Jace Herondale, Isabelle Lightwood, Simon Lewis, Raphael Santiago, Lucian Greymark, Ragnor Fell, Tessa Gray, Jem Carstairs..._

Just one name to hold on to... at least something to stay strong for...

 

**_Alexander Gideon Lightwood._ **

****

Magnus took a hold of his own hand with the Lightwood ring holding in tightly in his fist.

—

_“I’m sorry Magnus, but this is the way it has to go.”_

_“All I ever wanted was for you to be happy...”_

_“Well, I’m not!”_

_“I don’t see myself in your future.”_

_“Look at me, can you honestly say you like this?!”_

_“Yes!”_

_“We can’t see each other anymore.”_

**_“The only thing holding me back... is you”_ **

—

 

The ground has shifted underneath them. Or it was only for Magnus, he wasn’t sure. He has felt dizzy and lightheaded before his legs gave up. The ring still pressed tightly in his fist...

 

Magnus held on.

 

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is what happened and I don’t know if this is actually the way it’s gonna go in 3x18 or further, but that’s just what I think might happen after the break up, which (SPOILERS) was now officially confirmed will happen on Monday's episode. So we’ll see what happens in there but in this fanfic, I’ve found myself prolonging for whatever reasons- things are escalating pretty quickly. What happened to Magnus? Will Catarina persuade Alec to tell Magnus the truth or did she actually think he did the right call? I don’t know yet, share your thoughts in the comments!  
> P.S. Can Asmodeus like... drop dead

**Author's Note:**

> Hope this didn’t suck way too much, I usually don’t write but I wanted to share the idea of Alec carving the rune on himself in front of Magnus, using his strength. *Cough* poetic *Cough*. Anyway, follow me on Instagram I'm a lot better at video edits than fanfics writing lmao @widowsally ( i have an edit to I get to love you by ruelle w malec so u better hmu)


End file.
